After watching our latest film favorite, Crazy, Stupid, LOVE, and enduring fits of laughter as Ryan Gosling gave Steve Carell a necessary man makeover, we asked our editors to highlight the top five things that women do (and don’t) want to see on a man. Gentlemen, get ready to revamp your closets… And women, get ready to help them; we’re going in.
1. A suit that fits WELL.
Very few things can stop a man in a suit that looks like the designer tailored it to every inch of his body. That being said, everything stops a man that looks like he’s swimming in his formal attire. To put it simply, women associate what you (men) wear, and the way that you wear it with your personality. Example: “His jacket is too big,” translates to, “He’s sloppy.” Let’s take that one step further, shall we? “He’s sloppy…” in the dating realm is a lethal foot to put forward; there are so many terrible ways to finish that sentence! “He’s sloppy…” can go from just “He’s a sloppy dresser,” to, “He must be sloppy in bed.” Our advice? Save yourself the headache and hours of reading into why she’s not interested, and invest in the f*****g suit.
2. Jeans; you know, those pants you wear around your WAIST… Not your thighs.
Dear men: Jeans rock. If you take nothing else away from this article, we hope that that sentence sticks. The truth is… If you can’t master jeans, you can’t master your wardrobe. A pair of dark wash denim worn with a crisp, white dress shirt is a home run in any scenario – we just ask that you slide across home plate without your pants at your ankles. What is it with guys who like to wear jeans around their thighs? To make matters worse, the jeans often have a belt in them (also around their thighs)! The answer to this fashion don’t is simple – just don’t.
3. A crisp, black dress shirt. In fact, a dress shirt in anything but paisley.
Sport a crisp, black dress shirt, and the women will swoon – make no mistake about that. However, if you think for even one second that paisley looks good on you, you’re wrong. Why? Because it doesn’t look good on any man! It didn’t in the 70s, and it sure as hell doesn’t now. When in doubt, skip patterns all together. Solids are a winner – blue, white, grey, black, purple… Even pink will get you into a woman’s good graces faster than Barry Gibb’s leftovers.
4. Sunglasses. To be worn during daylight hours only, please.
A fashion-forward pair of shades during the day? Absolutely. Sunglasses at night? Absolutely not (sorry, Corey Hart); it’s illogical, and just screams “stupid”. But when a man decides to wear them after dark, and indoors? He may as well hang a sign around his neck that reads, “I may or may not be famous, but I’m definitely an asshole.” Whether the statement is true or not about said man, it’s what women think. Is it fair? Probably not – but who said anything about “fair”? Perception is everything when it comes to the way men (and women, for that matter) dress.
5. Time is money…
Alas, the piece of fashion advice that truly separates the men from the boys. A fantastic watch doesn’t just tell time – it tells women that you are not only sophisticated, but also confident. Very few things “wow” a woman like a man who has chosen a modern, classic piece of arm candy. Although this manly must-have can be pricey, you only have to buy it once. Ironic, but a great watch really is timeless.